We’ve all gone through heartaches. Whether it’s from a lost job opportunity, the death of a loved one, or a failed relationship – we have felt pain in our lives. And yet some recover sooner – and more gracefully – than others.
These days, I seem to be more aware of people going through relational heartbreaks. Perhaps God has finally helped me be more sympathetic and sensitive to the hurts of others. Perhaps, in this blessed life that I am living, I no longer focus on my own disappointments and frustrations. I’ve learnt to sincerely ask others how they are doing. And perhaps the sense of calm and peace I now enjoy has made me a magnet for all the distraught souls around me. I’ve become the go to person for the brokenhearted.
Dealing with brokenness stretches me in ways I have never known. In the past, I would be the one dwelling on my hangups, sulking in my room, refusing to be consoled. I would tire people out with my complaints and questions and occasional tirades. I never realised how much of an emotional toll I had taken on others until I began to be on the receiving end.
A few of the many things that surface are thoughts like “I wish I could forget; I wish it hadn’t happened,” and the very simple “Why?” My response to both would be the same.
God allows us to be broken, because that’s His chance to make the ugly things beautiful.
In life, there will always be hurt and pain. You can’t run away from it. But you can find peace and joy in the midst of it.
When I was a child, one of my favourite songs was In His Time. He makes all things beautiful in His time. My little heart can understand only so much. Now that I’m older, now that I’ve gone through so much heartache and brokenness – the song has become much more meaningful. May each song I have to sing, whether I am grieving or joyful, may it be to You a lovely thing. I see my ugly past and I realise that it has paved the way for my present – a life that is imperfect, but beautiful in its imperfections. A life that continues to be moulded and shaped by my Creator.
In grief, our faith is put to the test. The winters of life are seasons where we learn to rejoice in the cold, and look forward to spring. As I walk through the dark valleys of my life, I fear no evil. I know that God is using the difficult times to make something wonderful in my life. It humbles me to think that He would bother to spend so much time in ensuring my emotional growth. We grow up not because life is easy. We mature in faith because we have withstood and overcome hardship.
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’ve spent so many years of my life trying to become emotionally resilient. But few things could have prepared me for the storm that raged through my life a few weeks ago. My mother was diagnosed with Stage 2 cancer. I lost my source of income for the next half year. I spent half my time between Sunday and Wednesday at airports and in airplanes. And when I finally got home, my wallet got stolen with my IDs and cards. Plus, I had to spend my birthday alone. It was a very bad week, to say the least. After bearing all the troubles and bad news with calm and grace – I finally I broke down. At the height of my despair, another song from my childhood sprung to my lips. I cast all my cares upon you. I lay all of my burdens down at your feet. Every time I don’t know what to do – may I cast all my cares upon you.
People see me as a strong woman. One girl even called me Iron Lady. But all that girl power means nothing in the face of an almighty and awesome God. I choose not to rely on my own strength, because my human capacity will fail. I choose to anchor myself on the strength of His promises. His love endures forever. Therefore, for all reasons and in all seasons, I can sing praise.
We may not understand why we go through difficult moments in the midst of our suffering. We may not know what God has planned for us in the future. But we can always trust that He can and He will make things beautiful. In its time. The God who sees eternity knows what He’s doing. We yearn to know the what, why and how from the beginning to the end. But we will only begin understand His ways if we allow Him to take us through the process.
So cast your cares upon the One who knows you and sees your grief. He made you, and He knows your heart better than you do. Surrender it to His loving care.
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.