I came across this discussion on a Christian dating site quite a few times. I have avoided the subject because it was a contentious issue. Yesterday, I decided to dip my toes in and was overcome by a tidal wave of ideas. I felt compelled to respond because – though many have raised valuable points – I felt they were missing key things. So here is the original question posed to women, and my response after.
What is your view point on what a Proverbs 31 or a submissive wife should be like? I see men always post about looking for a submissive wife or a Proverbs 31 wife. I am just curious about what others think.
Proverbs 31 – as far as I recall – mentions nothing about submission. It does, say, though, that ‘her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.’ This speaks of TRUST. Her husband finds her trustworthy and allows her to do what she sees fit. She uses that liberty towards productive ends. See how she spends her days – she does things that bring HONOUR to her husband, not shame. ‘Her children rise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.’ He doesn’t praise her because she was a meek, passive follower. He praises her because she has ACTIVELY brought life, love, wealth, and wisdom into his household. Now, what kind of man wouldn’t want that? To be called a Proverbs 31 woman is indeed high praise. Many misunderstand what it entails.
Submission has become a dirty word in our society, unfortunately. But you know what? More than the outward display of submission, we need to understand WHY we submit. Same word as above – TRUST. When you trust that your husband will do everything to look after you, to do the hard things to make sure you and your family are safe, to provide and to protect – submission will come naturally. And if you understand just how much power you, as a wife, wield over your husband – just how much life, love, wealth, and wisdom you can breathe into (or take away from) his existence – you will understand that submission is not just about you listening to what he has to say. You will understand that it is a willingness to bring HONOUR to the man who has vowed to protect you and your family.
As a woman, I have discovered that one of my deepest desires is to be the wind beneath a man’s wings. To enable him to become even more of what God has designed him to be. His victories are my victories and I don’t need to get credit for it. Submission demands humility and a willingness to put the other first. It is love, in action. And it is indeed, very beautiful.
Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels
