So here’s the reason I started this blog. I know one too many ladies who, in their longing to be loved (and, more precisely, to be wed), have grown tired of waiting. They spend so much time thinking about what they’re missing (marriage) that they cannot enjoy the fullness of what they have (singleness).
A friend once remarked of me – You are the first person I’ve known who is absolutely happy to be single. You enjoy your single life like no one I’ve ever known. (She meant it in the most God-honouring way, in case you were wondering.)
Why shouldn’t I enjoy being single? Singleness is a gift.
It is not a crime (nor a sin) to remain single beyond age 30.
No, it doesn’t mean you’re considered ‘leftovers’. And yes, you had and still have every right to be selective in choosing a mate. And no, you shouldn’t lower your standards just because it’s getting late in the game. Even if society makes it out to be that way, marriage is not a race to see who gets to the altar first.
The issue I find with most singles who are not satisfied with their civil status is this – they think too much about what they want, rather than what God wants. They fit it into their timetables and checklists, wanting this to be done by that time. Sure, we all have our dreams and aspirations and ambitions. Sure, some of them are given to us by God. But the moment we let those aspirations dictate where our happiness and fulfilment lies – God takes a back seat. And we will never be content, whether or not we get what we want.
Full disclosure – I have decided to let go of marriage a while back. (That could explain why I thoroughly enjoy being single.) You may think it’s easy for me to speak this way because of that decision. Well, guess what? God has revealed His plans for me, and it involves marriage. Surprise! I am waiting for my prince charming, too.
Having wrestled with the Lord about marriage – He says yes, I say no – I finally decided to surrender this part of my life to Him. I was initially impatient; can we get this over and done with? Who, Lord, who?! Patience is indeed a virtue, because the Lord’s constant reminder to me was – wait. He says, I will fulfil all that I have promised you and planned for you. Wait.
My recent journey as a single has brought me closer to God than I ever have been. I’ve learnt to be content with what He has given me, at all times (well, at most times). The greatest lesson, though, was how to use my time in between His revelation and His fulfilment. It is to walk alongside Him, and not ahead of Him, in this journey of faith. Because it is in the small steps that I learnt to rely on Him more and more. I could not have done it on my own. By the help of God, I was able to return to Him.
Here’s a little secret – before God told me He plans for me to marry, I have made a personal decision to devote myself to Him. He was my joy. I held fast to the strongest love I knew – a love that would never disappoint or fail me. I satisfied myself with His love. When that love has reached its fullness, He decided it was time to stretch me and make me believe in human love as well.
I do not know when and where the love He has planned will find me. But I do know this – God desires me to experience the beauty and richness of love in His perfect time. He longs for the same thing for you. But you must open your heart to the Lord’s plan, or you may miss out on His blessings. Remember, love does not only reside in marriage. Before all else, love is found in God. Wait continually for your God. Because He, also, is waiting for you.
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,
and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
blessed are all those who wait for him